I Can’t Be Bothered Writing This Thanks to Skakespeare


*Cough* *Sneeze* *Self implodes*

Yes, I have the cold. Actually, change that, let’s start again…

Yes, *cough*, I have man flu.

Much better.

Ok so to you women, it may seem like just a common cold, but to us men, it seems like the end of the world. Most of us get the cold through the natural spreading of it or by jumping into an icy lake (as you do) or at least, something like that.

Not me.

“I’m tucked up in bed, with my large mug constantly filled with tea (thanks to Mother and Father) and about three rolls of toilet paper stacked up, ready to be used.”

I have a far more interesting story as to how I got the cold… I mean… man flu. 

So, in the title of this blog post (which I assume you have read), I mention that I cannot be bothered with writing this post thanks to Shakespeare. To be honest, I haven’t really been bothered with anything that involves life recently. Don’t worry, this is not a suicide note.

I guess it is just the usual side effects of having a cold.. I mean… urgh… ok. I’m exaggerating, it is a cold, I don’t have the energy to keep exaggerating. It is a cold. Happy? Good.

So yes, as I was saying, I guess being really lazy and not bothered with anything is just the usual side effects of a COLD. I hate every minute of it. I feel like a car alarm is going off in my head all the time, like a small creature has made its home in my nose, and my Adam’s Apple has developed into a small man, attempting to escape from my throat with a tiny chainsaw.

Ok, so enough moaning about the painful experience of having a cold. Time to move on to the interesting stuff. How I got my cold. And it is all thanks to Shakespeare.

In English, we are currently reading Shakespeare’s Macbeth. I must say, I am enjoying it, as well as enjoying hearing all the superstitions related to it. One of them being that Shakespeare actually did put real spells into the play, so that any actor that would play the specific part would be, according to the superstitions, doomed, cursed or even killed. But that one didn’t really interest me. The next, however, did.

I’m sure it is the most famous superstitions related to Macbeth. The name itself. – If an actor, or anyone involved in the production of any performance on a stage, mentions the name “Macbeth” on stage, or even backstage, they are most certainly headed for doom, or the performance will be doomed.

I’m not usually one to believe a lot of superstitions and I do have my odd belief or two. So, to prove to one of my classmates from English, who is also in my drama class that I do not believe in the Macbeth superstition, I jumped onto the stage and shouted “Macbeth!” multiple times. 

I came out from drama unhurt, and I was soon out or school unharmed.

This was soon to change.

That night, Friday night, I started to feel a little under the weather. My throat was killing me, my nose in agony from vigorous blowing, and my head literally thumping.

Saturday was no better. In fact, worse.

The same for Sunday, worse.

Monday, Tuesday, and even today, Wednesday, my cold has just got worse and worse.

Of course, I did not think on Friday, or even at the weekend, that it was anything to do with Macbeth. In fact, I had totally forgot about my mocking of it. It was only when the same classmate came up to me and reminded me of my actions, when I put a link between the two. Macbeth gave me the cold.

Well, the name Macbeth cursed me. And I kind of do believe it. My cold has just got worse and worse, and it is too much of a coincidence that I developed it on the same night of the day of my fatal mocking.

So, there you have it. I am cursed by Macbeth. Whether I am to die soon, or to have the cold for the rest of my life, or some other form of horrible cursed thing.

But for now, I’m tucked up in bed, with my large mug constantly filled with tea (thanks to Mother and Father) and about three rolls of toilet paper stacked up, ready to be used.

Ah well. Maybe that’ll teach me a lesson – don’t mock superstitions.

Or maybe, just maybe, I caught the cold from my multiple friends who had the cold before me. 



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