Since my summer holidays started about a week and a half or more ago, I feel as if I am depressing myself. Not in a bad and unhealthy way, but more of a long period of things I regret ever doing in my life. Even from as far back as I can remember as a child. So, since I have not blogged in donkeys (you can decide how long donkeys are) I thought I’d share with you a letter to my newly born self. You will just have to imagine that I can send letters to the past, and that the newly born me can read. Also, this is completely improvised, because this was unintended and it is a poor excuse to a) put something of some sort on my blog and b) cheer me up a bit.
So here is my letter of regret…
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Dear Aaron (the newly born version),
You have just been born, and somehow you are reading this letter. It’s hardly a private letter because I have just shared it with the inter-web so hey, unlucky for you. Well, it’s more unlucky for me, because it’s the things I regret that are being shared and the things that I wish I hadn’t done which means I wish you not to do. As a baby, you are already probably lost but hey, just go with the flow, because you probably won’t receive this letter because hey, we cannot send letters into the past and we can most definitely not change the past. I’m gonna shut up about that now, my brain is already hurting.
Childhood is gonna be great. You’re gonna make a new best friend right away, the dog. That big, beautiful golden Labrador. Her name’s penny. You’ll feed her Twixes even although you really shouldn’t, and whenever you have an ice-cream, you will give her the wafer part, because you detest that bit of the ice-cream. Sadly however, you will not be with her for a long time. She’ll soon die, but Mum and Dad will just say she’s going to a new home and she’s taking a long lie in. You’l just pretend to believe that, despite the slight look of sadness in everyone’s eyes. However, since you are young, you will not be so upset about the loss of Penny because really, you do not understand what is going on. Only later in life, do you wish you spent more time with her and had known her for longer.
Time will go by but luckily for you, time is nothing. You don’t care about anything in the world except your toys, your variations of teddy bears and how tightly your show laces are tied. You have also made a friend, who lives round the back of the house. Many happy days are spent playing in the Wendy-House and bouncing on the mini trampoline, and eating cheesy pasta, which you soon find out you love, despite your hate for macaroni and cheese.
Nursery will be just fine. You won’t really take any notice of the people around you, because you are too concerned about which colour to paint the model train. You’ll also be quite the little P.E master, as you show the class up in your “walk along the beam” act, and your hopping between obstacles. Whilst at nursery, you will go on one of your first outings which is not with anyone in your family. You will go to the cinema to see “Monsters Inc” which you soon make your favourite film of all time. Mainly because it is about one of the first films you’ve ever seen and actually briefly understood. For some reason, you will remember that outing when you are lot older and reminiscing on your days as a child.
You don’t really quite fully take in that you only attend nursery for one year. So, it is a bit of a big change when you are lining up outside a school, beside other kids your age and don’t know. You wish you were back in nursery, but you kind of like the new routine.
Over the three years at this primary school, you learn many new and fantastic things, and you’re joining up your writing before anyone else! However, sadly due to your rather good joining up of letters, in later years, this will soon be so good and fancy, that you yourself can’t read it. So, I would reccomend joining up your writing at the pace that everyone else goes at.
During these years, you will be met by several different dogs. Obviously Mum and Dad feel like the house is empty without having a dog. The first few attempts at having a dog, go horribly wrong. One night, you return home from a meal out with your, or should I say our family at pizza hut, and everything in the house is chewed up, and the smell of pee and wet dog is almost unbearable. But you soon all get over that.
Finally, you are met by a dog who likes you, and you have a likeness for them. Many happy hours are spent together with Oscar, which you eventually name after many days of hard thinking.
The death of one of your Grandfather soon comes afterwards. Again, you are almost certainly too young to be too grieved, but you do spend a few nights crying. Even worse, or maybe it’s a good thing, you aren’t allowed to go to the funeral as many of the family think you’re too young. You’re not too angered and soon forget about the whole matter.
Then, one day, you are told you are moving house. You and our sister both a agree to it, and seem cheery about everything. This means a change of school which you are very excited about. And for goodness sake, just go with the flow of things. Horrible things and unwanted events will take place but without this change of house, your life may not be what I have. We’ll get to that in a bit…
First house isn’t a house, but a flat, in a tower block thing. Number 60 on the eleventh floor. For some weird reason you will remember that as well when you are a teenager. The flat isn’t up to much, so after a year, and a deserved holiday to Blackpool, as you do every year, you move to another flat. It is just an upstairs/downstairs flat though and you are on the downstairs part. Neighbours are nice at first, but they soon turn… let’s just say not so nice and soon, you will be FORCED to leave and go to another house.
I’ve not spoken about the new primary school yet, because I feel there is no need to. Everything turns out just fine. The only thing I would say for the last few years of primary school, is watch your weight. Yeah, stop stealing those biscuits from the kitchen, and don’t end up like the fat child I am! Oh, and don’t fake being sick at school. You missed a bit too much school, and you failed a few tests. Luckily, you manage to pull your weight, and get the marks you should. Also, just bare through primary 6. It will seem like hell, but everything will kind of turn out just fine. You’ll see what I mean when you get to that.
Make the most of primary 7. High School is going to be a big leap, so make the most of being just a child. You will soon become a teenager, which is when the most regretful things will happen funnily enough.
Primary school over with, you are settled into the new flat. A great view, and you’re on the second floor. Just a shame the neighbours downstairs will turn out not so nice once again. But again, we’ll get to that.
You start High School with a smile on your face. You’re fine because you have friends to hand around with. You start the school year off just fine, but you start to fall down a little. You could be studying and putting more work in to your subjects. First year goes by okay, and you’re used to the hole High School thing, despite the friendly teasing and the annoying people who are considerably older than you. But hey, you don’t mind anything, and things, once again, turn out okay.
Second year, will probably be the worst year. You do things you wish you didn’t do in about a year’s time. The worst one being the whole YouTube thing. You are starting to realise the power of the internet. You love this site called YouTube which has been around for quite a few years. You see the whole concept of “vlogging” or as the posh people call it, “Video Blogging”. You are influenced by the people you see on YouTube and you think about trying it out for yourself. One word. Don’t. Not just yet, at such a young age. You do all the wrong things. You give away you’re full identification online! You’re full name, you’re rough location, you’re age! That’s not really the thing that will get you in a year or so. It’s the embarrassment of what you will do. You don’t do anything too comical or cheesy or funny. In fact, that’s the problem. You are too serious and you want to see yourself as a professional. But you’re not, and you’re only digging a deep, deep hole for yourself, which will get you more than wanted attention in school. You stop it for a bit, but miss it and you realise that you need to be more open minded about everything. No more live streams- and no more sitting behind a plastic, collapsible table. You try the proper way of vlogging, in front of a camera, talking about life with supposed to be entertaining things. Things aren’t as entertaining as they turn out, and you soon realise this. By the end of second year, you stop the whole thing all together, and stick to blogging, which you became a fan of back in first year, after overhearing a conversation about it in the school library. Keep sticking at the blogging, because you will soon see how powerful it is, and the attention you can get! It also really helps you think about life in a different way. Just keep away from the whole YouTube thing for now. If you feel as if you MUST do it, then do it when you are a lot older, have less worries on your case, and do the right things, but I reccomend not. I guess I should take not of this as well. Oh, and don’t be afraid to sign up for that Photography Club. You’ll soon discover that you may have a hidden talent, and a new hobby!
You have also started piano lessons, which are going well. Despite you already being self taught and being able to play a heck of a lot of things by ear, you don’t know how to read music, and there is a lot to learn about the theory of piano. The one thing I would say is practice, practice, practice! You may not feel like getting off of your backside and practising, but believe me, you’ll benefit from it!
High School from then on turns out to be okay. You realise you’re real friends, and at the same time you’r not so real friends. You realise what is called “The Teenage Wasteland” but not to worry about anything, because although you’re sick of hearing it, it all turns out to be okay.
And that brings us just about up to date. Take this as advice for life. Do what you think is right. But for goodness sake, think. Think about whatever you are going to do before you do anything. it’s this lesson which has helped make things okay when at first they don’t seem hopeful. Be yourself, be brave, and be brilliant.
Aaron (the current version).
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Wow that took a lot of time and effort. I am really enjoying this whole “therapeutic” side of blogging. I do feel a lot better now, even although I know the past cannot be changed. Above are just some of the things I wish I had or hadn’t done. There are a bazillion trillion gazillion things (slight exaggeration) that I regret doing or not doing. But those are the ones that seem to stick out the most. As for the end of the letter to myself, I think for once, I have listened to my inner self. Be yourself, be brace, and be brilliant.
I think we can all take something away from that.